Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
