One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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