garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize