Pants 0. Shit 1.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
