Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
