Its about making memories worth repressing
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize