do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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