hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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