I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dear god my vagina.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
