There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize