ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize