sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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