She's the barista slut.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
