Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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