yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
