addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
