You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i now understand why vodka
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
