So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
