how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
