dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
