So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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