It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
