it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
