When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
