I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want to make out with him forever
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize