I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
