His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
