I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize