Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
