i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize