I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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