Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
