Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
