remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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