Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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