my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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