: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Holy sore nipples Batman
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
