ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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