I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize