He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
