Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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