it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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