Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
