She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
