We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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