I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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