hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
