I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
