sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
