I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
