so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
