I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just google imaged poop.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
