We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
