i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
