Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
