considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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