Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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