I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize