i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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