grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize