Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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