i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
