I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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