I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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