did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
