I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
