East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
