Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize