put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he thought i was a dude.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
