her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
