I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
