I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
