I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
