i wish starbucks made bloody marys
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
