with your own penis?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize